Facebook statuses that I would post if I cared about "likes"

•  I hate the phrase "happy wife, happy life". How about we change that narrative to "happy spouse, happy house". We are a team, after all. 
• Why did we make "Baby it's cold outside" a banned song because of the implication of rape when Carrie Underwood's song about her cheating boyfriend literally implicates a woman getting taken advantage of by a man? Example: "She's probably saying "I'm drunk, and he's thinking he's gonna get lucky". Rape culture at it's finest. But no, we had to ban an innocent beloved Christmas song. 
• Why so serious 
• I get a competitive thrill when I beat someone walking who doesn't even know I'm competing against them 
• Classic Christmas songs are where it's at-seriously, stop trying to sing them a different way 
• I hearby dub Friday self care Friday 

A school assignment

 I had to take a 1 credit class the last semester of my BSN in order to get a student loan and it just so happened to be Stress Management 101. I don't feel particularly stressed, maybe at times, but not consistently, but it was a simple class for 5 weeks. I didn't pay much attention to the assignments, and in fact, I am probably going to get a "B" in the class for overlooking one assignment where I missed half of the information, whoops. The last assignment was the most meaningful I think, and I wanted to save it.

The assignment was to write our strengths and vulnerabilities and list examples. I thought my list was pretty accurate and I wanted to save it for future reference.

Module V – Application Project – Signature Strengths

Some of my strengths are compassion for others, good social skills, a strong desire to be healthy, writing college papers, being non-judgmental, and making friends. An example of my strength in compassion for others is my medical employment background-I have been serving people with medical needs for over 12 years now and I have recognized a unique love for the elderly, persons of color, and the homeless population. My compassion is wide ranging, but those specific populations have my heart. I tend to be extra caring and understanding when I take care of those groups. I also have a strong desire to be healthy, which I am learning more and more that many people do not. I have been on a consistent workout regimen since my teens and enjoy eating all the foods that are very nutritious-I take high interest in my overall health. Writing college papers is also a strength of mine, perhaps not apparent in this course, but I have a way with words and it comes easy to me. I score higher on papers then I ever have on tests.

My vulnerabilities include caring too much about what others think, being highly critical of myself, distasteful candor, insensitivity, and not knowing how to sit still and relax. My insensitivity is to specific things and towards others, such as: “you wouldn’t feel like crap if you just exercised and ate vegetables” or “you wouldn’t be so tired if you exercised and invigorated your mind and body instead of being on electronics for hours”. I don’t take into consideration what other things people might be struggling with and think because I can do it, so can they. In reality, everyone has his or her personal strengths and weaknesses and I shouldn’t compare his or her weaknesses to my strengths. What I mean when I say “distasteful candor” is that I tend to be too honest and it can come across as rude, when I don’t mean it to be. For example, telling someone they look better with brown hair instead of blonde hair-that could be offensive depending on how bluntly I say it. To address the vulnerability of “being too critical of myself”, in one aspect it is good because I always want to improve. However, it has also been a detriment in my life because of the negativity accompanying such thoughts. 

Combining the Greats

A few years ago I stopped eating refined sugars for 12 months, just to see if I could do it.  And I did!  My next goal was to get on a regular exercise program and keep it up 3-4 days a week-something that I was unable to do ever since I began exercising at age 13.  This was a lot harder than I had anticipated.  But, right now I almost always get my workout in 4 days a week every week and every month.

Now, I have a dream of doing them together!  No refined sugar with 4 days a week of exercising.  Starting December 31st 2018-June 2018.  I decided to do 6 months just because I like refined sugar and don't plan on veering away from it forever.  I do these things to challenge myself and also to do what many people can't do.

3/17/19

I have to say, going off of sweets and exercising has gotten my butt and hips quite small.  Which to me means that the sugar I was eating was being stored away for later! I decided to prolong the sweets/sugar until August because I feel so good!  January was rough because I was eating my cravings in salty foods like potato chips and crackers, so I went off of those mid month.  I did not lose any weight in January from the scale, but I could see a difference in my body.  February I lost 2 lbs, which is fine with me because it was a 1/2 pound a week and I didn't feel deprived.  Ive been working out with Destiny twice a week where we try to do a fairly difficult workout, and the I have been swimming 45 minutes once or twice a week.  Ive seen changes in my hips and butt like I said, my legs have gotten thinner (from loss of muscle but also fat) and a difference in my arms.  The last thing to go seems to be my tire, but its only been 2 1/2 months of "combining the greats" so I am ok with the results!

5/26/19

I swam an hour last week!  Ive never done that but I thought I would give it a shot because I am trying to get more cardio in and since I can't run anymore (at least consistently because of my knee-trying to save it) I need to find a new exercise to get my cardio in.  Ive veered toward swimming, pilates, yoga, tabata, HIIT, walking, and some weight training (mostly resistance with my body).  I think these groups are easier on my body but help get me strong but not large like it did when I was doing weight training last year.  I just had a junk day where I ate whatever I wanted that I haven't been eating since December and it was ok, but I definitely prefer the healthier lifestyle.  My drive to workout has increased since school has gotten out, so I hope to lean out this summer!

10/27/19

Well look at this, I haven't written in almost exactly 5 months!  Ok, so working out since August has been great!  I have been attending workout classes 3 days a week (HIIT, Cardio dance or hip hop or rarely zumba, body pump) and they have been really great.  I decided about 2 months ago to stop eating refined carbohydrates for dinner and I saw a little difference, not much though. Then, I started to eat less chips, then I decided to eat only refined carbohydrates for one meal for the majority of the week and I will tell you, it has worked!  I think I may have an more of an intolerance to gluten than I thought, like maybe it was causing inflammation in my body and somehow causing me to keep weight on.  But, I also just eat 3 meals a day and try to eat 3 servings of veggies and 2 servings of fruit every day as well.  I am not counting calories but I do predict I am eating at a deficit of 1400-1600.  I discovered if I cut out my cereal in the mornings and just had my pb&j I have been eating all semester then that would help cut calories.  I will say I have been hungry, but if I just ignore it it will go away.  Which is not something I was hoping to do, but I guess to be at a deficit that can be a part, a big part.  I don't have the energy or time to eat every 2 hours or 3 hours and I also enjoy being hungry to eat a meal so eating consistently is not for me.  But I am finally trying to eat well and exercise consistently and I am succeeding!  It is so hard to combine the two, it has taken me so long.  I am meeting up with some friends in Dec and the last time I saw them I did not feel comfortable in my own skin, I think I looked so bloated and large.  So, it is motivation but I think I am keeping it up until I get comfortable in my own skin again.  I haven't had that since the beginning of my marriage and that will be 3 years in February!

12/27/19

I will say, the holidays have a way of effing up everything you've done if you are not careful.  I think I put on a couple of pounds since the beginning of our trip, but I did not allow myself to totally screw it up.  I also have been unable to workout this week at the gym (which I prefer to do to not hate my living space) because of my cut right index finger, so that has been annoying.  But before our trip, I was proud of what I had accomplished-eating mostly well and exercising consistently.  Now that i got both down, it's time to up the ante next year!  I did drop weight, scale and inches.  I am borderline 6/8 size pants, my legs are smaller, my arms are slightly smaller, before vacation my love handles were smaller.  So, I say as hard as it was to learn and teach myself to eat right AND workout at the same time, I call this year a success! 

***update 8/9/2020

I have FINALLY been able to combine these 2!! Exercise and eating right! I have been eating right (80/20 rule) and exercising 5 days a week (1 hour) for almost 6 months now . I think trying and failing and trying again is key in this.  I just kept going and working harder and now I feel like I am seeing the results I have always wanted to!  Anyway, so moral of the story-DONT' EVER GIVE UP!!! You will get there eventually if you want to!! 

Note from a sister

This is a note from my sister that she left on my desktop my freshman year of college.  So, 2007 roughly.   I found it in my files on my old drive that I was clearing. I thought it was really sweet, especially because I didn't spend a lot of time with Destiny in my 20s.  When she was at college, I was still at home and when I went to college, she went to Taiwan to teach English and then on her LDS mission to Hong Kong.  We have time together now because we are in the same area, so that's good. 

Hey sister of mine,

Thanks so much for letting me crash at your apartment and sleep on your bed for 2 nights!  It was very comfortable and I slept very well.  I like your roomies they seem really nice too! 

Thanks for going dancing even though it seemed a little like you didn't want to. I hope you had fun. I know I did. So thanks for indulging my wish,

I just wanted to let you know. I love you.  You're a pretty cool person and the light of the party.  I hope we can get to know each other more and have more fun in the future. 

Study hard this week for your finals. I know you'll do great if you just take the time. But also have fun because that's important too. You are a beautiful person inside and out and i'm proud to call you my sister.

I love you and have a great week. I'll see you in 6 months.  You can keep convincing me to move out here.

Merry Christmas, Happy Birthday, Happy New Year, and other important holidays. I'lll call you and I have skype so you can call me too.

BYE

PS. YOU CAN keep convincing Colton and Lauren that I'm the more amazing aunt so when I see them again they'll actually give me a hug! HALOL

Your most amazing oldest sister,

Destiny

Things I have learned in my 20s.

Turning 30 soon has made me reflect on the last 10 years of my life.  I don't really know what is said about your 20s, but for me it was some of the worst times and the best times.  All of those life experiences have helped me learn some valuable lessons.  This is a collection I have made over the past 6 months that are sound pieces of advice.  Not just from my own experiences, but also from observing other's experiences. 

• no body can fulfill your happiness but yourself
• its really hard not to be a complete hypocrite
• credit cards are not necessary to get a good credit score or to build credit, but you do need a student loan or car loan or some type of small loan
• only put on a credit card what you have in the bank as cash to pay it off monthly 
• say yes to a lot of things so that you don't hit 30 and feel like you've done nothing
• don't be afraid not to think you have to settle down in your 20s. 30s bring plenty of time to do that
• do what you want!! It's the only time in your life you can be justified at being selfish (if you don't have kids I guess)
• don't wear yourself out too much, work hard but don't work too hard. You'll need your body to keep functioning when you don't have as much energy
• develop a love for being healthy-because it's going to be way harder when you get older
• sunscreen will not prevent you from getting tan, unless you always use spf 100, which no one does 
• if you're going to be wild, your 20s is the time to do it
• buy experiences not things
• don't care too much what other people think. Only the right people. Most of the time you're wrong as to what others are really thinking about you or what you are doing
• do what you want, but get used to having to force yourself to do what you don't want 
• friends come and go and that's ok. Enjoy the friendship at the time and make an effort with those who you can't see your life without.  Let the rest go and appreciate the time you had together
• pain is temporary, both physical and emotional pain. The likelihood of you dealing with chronic pain in your 20s is rare-live your life healthily and move-this actually helps with any pain
• start caring about aging before your 20s
• the keys to aging nicely are to get plenty of sleep, drink lots of water, green leafy things, a good moisturizer, not eating salty foods before bed, not smoking or drinking, and lowering stress levels. And always wear sun glasses  
• if you can't change something, stop worrying about it. Only worry about things you can change. 
• don't have an expectation in your head of how things are going to go, because you'll be disappointed often. Just go with the flow
• don't speak for others, it's exhausting 
• being kind and pleasant can really make a difference on how other people treat you
• good karma is a real thing
• make sure to do weight bearing exercises to build up your bone strength, that will help you out later in life 
• if you think you know what others are thinking or feeling, you're probably not even close 
• be yourself!!!!! Stop trying to fit into a mold or a popular fad. It's hardly worth it. 
• do not underestimate the value of time to yourself as well as taking care of yourself first before spending energy and time on others, including children
•  not every old person is wise and not every young person is reckless or unwise 
•  the best place to clean out your nose is in the shower and the best place to tweeze your eyebrows is in an non moving vehicle's passenger mirror 
• if you didn't have insecurities in your teens you will in your 20s. 
• most people listen to speak. Be that rare person that actually listens. 
• never go into debt to travel 

Turning almost 30 sucks

I'm not even 30 yet and I already know it sucks.  Not because I am getting "old", or that I have more wrinkles (which I do, but just more pronounced under my eyes), but because the day I turned 29, my metabolism took a train to the south pole and hasn't been back since.

No more over eating without consequences.
No more gaining 5 pounds and losing it right away.
No more exercising a little and losing all kinds of weight.  In a week.

Hello having to eat 1200 calories to loose weight (thank goodness that maintenance doesn't have to be 1200 calories!).
Hello gaining 5 pounds and never getting rid of it.
Hello working my a$$ off at the gym and seeing no fat loss, even with the ton of muscle I am building (and I know because I can SEE it).

When you are almost 30, that one donut really does go straight to your spare tire. 

The good news is, I am almost halfway into my 29th year and I have come to the realization that I can no longer hold onto my 20 year old diet practices.  I MUST do something differently.  And that really is good news because I can move on to a healthier life style, almost solely because I have to in order not to be a big marshmallow.

And, I am happy about it.  Excited, even.  It's like throwing away that piece of clothing that is 10+ years old.  Is it hard? Yes-because what if I want to wear it one day?! But isn't it also satisfying tossing out something old and making room in your closet for something new??

It is hard to change the way I  look at food and exercise.  No more short cuts (because there really are shortcuts when you are in your 20s!).  But I think I have come to accept this fact.  And it feels like a bit of closure; kind of like a breakup that one can still hold onto for no reason whatsoever.

Realization.
Acceptance.
Closure.

Moving on.

Date Night Ideas That we have done

• Make a homemade laptop board
• Batting cages
• Learn jingle bells on the guitar
• $5 movie Wednesdays
• Go to VS for on sale body spray
• Swim at the 'Y'
• Junk/Movie night (the junk night actually made me so sick during the night, so next one we do will be a junk morning or something)
• DIY picture frame
• Stare into the abyss in silence (this was when we were having some tension regarding his work; he put it up as a joke