Facebook statuses that I would post if I cared about "likes"

•  I hate the phrase "happy wife, happy life". How about we change that narrative to "happy spouse, happy house". We are a team, after all. 
• Why did we make "Baby it's cold outside" a banned song because of the implication of rape when Carrie Underwood's song about her cheating boyfriend literally implicates a woman getting taken advantage of by a man? Example: "She's probably saying "I'm drunk, and he's thinking he's gonna get lucky". Rape culture at it's finest. But no, we had to ban an innocent beloved Christmas song. 
• Why so serious 
• I get a competitive thrill when I beat someone walking who doesn't even know I'm competing against them 
• Classic Christmas songs are where it's at-seriously, stop trying to sing them a different way 
• I hearby dub Friday self care Friday